I work with many clients in counseling who have been through some very difficult situations. They often have a lot of shame and regret when they look back on the situations and experiences they have encountered. I encourage them to look back and find the triumphs; not everything was a failure. And depending on how we look at things, we can choose to see things in a different light. There are times in our lives that we were doing the best we could at the time; we can choose to give ourselves grace during those difficult seasons and see small triumphs rather than only seeing failures. This can reframe how we see our situations and ourselves and give us momentum to move forward. Seeing only failure often leaves us paralyzed and unable to grow, change or move forward. Sure, there are things in our lives we would have done differently and there's nothing wrong with thinking about ways we might handle things differently in the future and from learning from our pasts. But holding our actions against ourselves and shaming ourselves because of them doesn't do much good for us. Are there small triumphs you can see in your past rather than only focusing on the failures? Wouldn't it be helpful to learn from the things you could have done differently and give yourself grace rather than continuing to spin in the cycle of shame and regret? If you have trouble doing this, reaching out for counseling can be a rewarding experience!