Many women I see for therapy have experienced a miscarriage. That loss may not be the reason they present for therapy but in discussing their history they share a single miscarriage or several miscarriages. Maybe times they breeze past it quickly in their history-sharing and note that they never really grieved. Miscarriage is a loss that oftentimes goes unnoticed by others. Our society tends to underplay the grief related to miscarriage and thus women think they cannot feel the loss, discuss it or grieve. When this happens and grief is not processed, emotional and relational obstacles can present. Miscarriage is a loss that needs to be grieved. There were hopes, dreams and ideas about the pregnancy, about the child growing inside. Miscarriage dashes those potentials and a deep loss ensues. Loss is loss no matter the subject of the loss. Loss calls for grief, for feeling the sadness, sharing the loss, mourning the dashed hopes and dreams. It was a loss for the couple; each will feel that loss differently but it impacts both spouses. Couples who grieve together grow stronger and connect deeper. Sometimes couples rush to get pregnant again quickly without pausing to feel the loss or truly grieve. The idea might be, "There is pain here because we lost a baby, so let's get pregnant again so we don't feel the ache." But this overlooks the loss, stuffs the pain down inside and keeps us from connecting deeply with ourselves and our spouse. Slow down, feel the loss, share the pain together, mourn the lost hopes and dreams for that child together. Grieve. If you're wondering how to grieve the loss or wondering what it looks like to do this well, counseling can help you sort through the emotions and ensure you are processing the loss fully.